Dr. Keith Ablow and Joshua Resnek
What began with Colin Kaepernick “taking a knee” has spread like an incurable virus in professional football. The visible symptom of those infected is the buckling of one knee – before professional football games, during the singing or playing of the national anthem.
The virus, now known as Weak Knee Narcissism Disorder (WKND) is accompanied by psychological symptoms that include specific loss of memory for any and all sacrifices made by American soldiers. Iwo Jima is forgotten. Normandy is forgotten. The 58,220 Americans killed in Vietnam are forgotten. American sniper Chris Kyle is forgotten. Rob O’Neill, our personal friend at Respvblica (who killed Osama Bin Laden), is forgotten.
There are no indications of the WKND virus inside Catholic churches at mass or inside Jewish synagogues, whether orthodox, conservative or even reform. It may be that those who have any real connection to a higher power, a.k.a. God, a.k.a the Truth, are immune.
But the fact that many seem immune should not give America a false sense of security. The virus is both strong and undetectable, until the knee buckles, and the dementia that steals all memory of American sacrifices takes hold.
Those particularly susceptible include, of course, muscular, professional athletes who are vastly wealthy and work only one season of the year, and mostly on weekends. It is not clear whether repeated head trauma could be a risk factor.
Head trauma cannot be the only predisposing factor, however. The spread of the WKND virus has been extraordinary, leading epidemiologists to theorize that unwieldy ego may also be a predisposing factor. Bob Kraft and all the billionaire owners of National Football League teams seem to be infected, after all. Even Roger Goodell, the president of the NFL, is showing signs of the virus, but hasn’t yet buckled at the knee, which would prove it.
Weak Knee Narcissism Disorder (WKND) presently has no cure.
The virus has one other peculiar feature: Those afflicted with it say that it feels good being sick, in this way. Victims of it insist, in fact, that they have been victimized and oppressed by society, not by the virus. Buckling at the knee during the playing of the national anthem reportedly gives them a false, but euphoric sense of “courage and commitment.”
This “feel good false courage,” now known as FGFC, a hallmark of the virus, actually seems to make some individuals actively seek exposure to the virus, like moths to a flame.
Television network executives who profit from broadcasting NFL games, as well as corporate executives whose companies advertise on NFL broadcasts, have not yet been seen buckling at the knee, but are showing signs of the power of WKND once the virus begins to invade the central nervous system (i.e., the brain and spinal column).
“No brain, no spine, at least not in the ways we have traditionally associated with American ideals, is one way to think about the horrible toll of this virus,” commented Dr. Victor Van Blaismore, Director of the National Institutes of Health. “Weak Knee Narcissism Disorder preferentially afflicts men, but to say they are still ‘men,’ in the sense of being reliable or upstanding, once afflicted, is a dubious assertion.”
“The money chain associated with the NFL is a powerful vector of viral spread,” a leading medical researcher said, under condition of anonymity. “We haven’t seen an illness that seems to track along with hypocrisy, in this way, ever. The buckling of the knee—a sign of weak character—makes those infected feel strong. It’s inexplicable. But I don’t want to be labeled a racist, just for doing my job,” he continued, “so it is very important that you leave my name out of this. To me, all lives matter, but I don’t want to lose my own life or my livelihood, for saying so.”
We at Respvblica will update readers with additional facts about the Weak Knee Narcissism Disorder (WKND) as they become available. Our advice: Stay away from NFL broadcasts and, by all means, the stadiums in which NFL games are played, until further notice.